Werewolf: The Mike & JB Show!

[DereWolf] Fucking Mike and JB Smooth, if you don’t believe in yourself, you could probably end up doing me…

No one has updated this thing since the last Caterie show, so it looks like I’ll have to step in and get everyone (all 5 of us) up to speed. First off, Werewolf purchased a new state-of-the-art tour bus so that they can travel across the world (Baton Rouge) in style. I’ve been trying to convince them to rechristen it the Rape Wagon of Doom 2k6, write “Church of Jesus Christ the Serpent” on the sides, and mount machine guns on it to fight terrorism, but they’re too lazy. However, if any ladies happen to end up in the bus/van/tank, don’t worry about the bed in the middle or a half-dressed Illegal D staring at you and licking his lips; that’s just how WW rolls.

So what else happened? Hrmmm… Well, Werewolf took the van and headed off to South Korea to play their bi-monthly show for the troops and Asian chicks. I didn’t make the trip because I am too busy with my weiner modeling career, but I heard they traded in one of the Asian breakdancers for an upgrade, I guess we’ll have to see this weekend.

Other than that, there was a super awesomely fantastic show at the Varsity on the 15th. If you missed the show, then you probably remember about as much as I do about the night. The only way I know for sure I was even there is that I am STILL seeing spots from where the new light show burnt my eyes. I’ve also come to the conclusion that Werewolf is the LEAST gayest cover band in this town. I won’t name names, but let’s just say that the members of “Active J” might try and give you a reacharound if you ever find yourself in the dark with them (and have a penis).

There was a show at the Keg in Lafayette on the 16th, but we’ve sworn never to talk about it again. Then there was the “secret” show at Ringside. Those are “neat” but ever since Mike cut all of his hair off, he doesn’t get anymore propositions from drunk old men that think he’s just a chick with a beard.

The last show was Freds, which was entertaining. Now it was nearly as entertaining as the show where Mike passed out in middle of Push It and then later puked on himself while trying to piss (he passed out while doing this too), or the night Dennis decided he would play in his underwear and then pull out his balls and walk around the club to see if anyone would notice. No, it was entertaining because we met a new mystery fan that could be dead for all we know. She couldn’t speak English (not because she spoke another language, but because she was far too drunk), she couldn’t walk, she couldn’t stand, she couldn’t steal things, she just couldn’t function. I was trying to break down equipment and heard her talking to John about shoes, hot dogs, tits, Arabs, and cookies all in the same sentence. I mean, I really hope she’s OK, but holy god, I don’t even understand how she got out of the bar.

Saturday is the Caterie show. Everyone should go. People should buy me drinks. People should tip the band $100 to play songs earlier in the set. Girls should stay away from the Rape Wagon of Doom 2k6 (actually, so should guys. gross). You should all wear sunblock and possibly bring those little alien-looking glasses that you wear in tanning beds. Oh, and bring an extra pair of underdrawers because Werewolf will rock your panties off!